So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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