what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
