I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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