You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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