Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
