M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
