nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
