Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
