fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
