hotel room ftw
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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