I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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