he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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