Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
