Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
