I puked a lego.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
