dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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