she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
