we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
