If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
