never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
