You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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