google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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