OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
