Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
