omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
