i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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