yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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