Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
