nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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