Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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