your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
