make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
