I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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