Fine. I'll sleep in my office
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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