How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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