How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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