my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
