He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
