toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
