You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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