Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
