The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
