she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize