we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
