dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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