I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
