Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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