I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
