Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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