either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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