I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
