We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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