So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
