I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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