This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
