i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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