Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
