they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
