Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize