Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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