you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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