It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
