ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
