Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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