I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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