You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
