Nicole vs. Life
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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