I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
